“If only I could look like this or that, my life would be wonderful.”
“I'll start living and doing more things when I lose some weight and have a better appearance.”
Do you often think things like that? As a psychotherapist, I notice these common misconceptions when it comes to achieving a positive body image. Positive body image is about being in a relationship with your body and feeling yourself from the inside out. Feeling the nuances, paying attention to and caring for yourself.
Most people will never love how they look in the mirror. And that's OK. Learn to accept your "flaws." Embrace gratitude for the incredible way your body functions. If you have the privilege of health, you don't have to remember to breathe, you don't have to remember to digest your food. Your lungs know how to breathe, your heart knows how to beat, your kidneys know how to get rid of toxins.
Take a moment to feel your body from the inside. Notice your heart beating. Notice your lungs filling with air. Imagine your arteries pumping, your spine sending signals, your bones holding you up.What else do you notice?You don't have to give it a second thought.
It just happens. The more you get in touch with yourself in an internal way, the less focus you'll have on appearances. Yours or anyone else’s. These are the building blocks for constructing a positive body image. You will be more interested in feeling comfortable and loving toward your body.
This may sound scary because there is so much judgment and fuss in our society over how we look. But if judgment is what's holding you back, you will never live a life of freedom. Instead, you will waste time trying to fit the status quo. Take the risk. Give it a try. What do you have to lose?
Here are three tips for achieving a positive body image.
1) Reduce External Information
STOP focusing on outside reinforcement to make you feel OK.
Reduce the time you stare at yourself in the mirror.
Weigh yourself less or, better yet, get rid of the scale.
Think about losing the Fitbit.
Stop judging other people's bodies.
2) Be Mindful
Spend a few minutes feeling yourself from the inside. Just imagine how your body is functioning and all the ways your body has wisdom. This doesn't take a lot of time. It can be done in only a few minutes when you remember.
Get in touch with your gratitude.
3) Don't Diet
Stop counting calories and restricting food.
Stop trying to figure out what would be the healthiest thing for your body.
Instead, trust your body to signal what you need. You just have to listen.
Just think, what if everyone did this? Then, society would view our bodies with respect. I have no doubt there would be more self-compassion, possibly fewer eating disorders, and more focus on things that really matter. Change happens from within. One individual at a time. You are the expert of your body. Don't let anyone or anything tell you different.
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