When the worst happens, what do we do?
Some of us run to our supporters, to get through it together.
Some of us grin and bear it, keeping our tears hidden behind closed doors.
But, some of us, avoid crying, yelling, or acknowledging the pain, or any emotion at all.
If you are an emotional avoider, you are not alone. Avoidance is a frequent response to trauma. It doesn't do much to heal you, but you should know that many people you meet are avoiding their trauma too. There is no shame in admitting where you are right now.
In fact, emotional avoidance and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms often go hand-in-hand. Why? Because avoidance is essentially a mental escape hatch. It's a way of getting away from the memories, insecurities, and physical reactions attached to unprocessed trauma.
And, for a while, it seems to be a viable option. But only for a while.
Soon, the effort of avoiding triggers and internal reactivity can become exhausting, serving to exacerbate pain rather than resolve it.
What is the Link Between Your PTSD and Avoidance?
Avoidance simply means that you are taking some action, internally or externally, to prevent the experience of an uncomfortable emotion. Do you stay home to stave off sights or sounds that might trigger a traumatic memory? Have you tried to prevent the rise of fear or shame by zoning out or drinking a few too many glasses of wine?
Emotions serve a purpose. They indicate what needs to be processed and healed. They provide insight and awareness and connect us to others. Physiologically, they inform you and motivate you. Properly processed and expressed emotions assist your ability to take care of yourself or reach out to others.
If your life is getting smaller and relationships are few, your emotional avoidance is only doing more damage to your mental health. As a result, persisting in avoidance behaviors can only serve to increase the length and severity of PTSD symptoms.
Pin-Pointing Avoidance Behavior as a Path to Relief
For your own benefit, your first action is to understand the role avoidance is playing in your life. Face the anxiety that causes you to cope this way. How are avoidance behaviors helping you withdraw from fearful situations and feelings?
Thus, it becomes important to notice and track what you're trying to avoid as a key step toward relief. Any memories, thoughts, or emotions are valuable information. External reminders like conversations or locations that bring the traumatic event to mind shouldn't be overlooked.
To gain more insight, you want to face them. Charting what leads to the avoidance and how it plays out may even be cathartic. Are you numb? Do you escape through sleep or video games? Have you withdrawn from pleasurable activities or pleasant daily interactions with people to avoid feeling anything in general?
With the help of a therapist, you may want to start with mindfulness or meditation as a helpful way to gently start paying attention to your emotions. Some PTSD sufferers find it helpful to journal their avoidance behavior for their own awareness and for work with a therapist. If trauma is too painful to recall or rehash repeatedly, you might discuss Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy or a more body-centered therapy as a path to relief.
How Emotional Avoidance Becomes Destructive
Your mind and body want to heal. They want to serve their proper functions. To avoid your emotions requires concerted effort. Over time, your energy and goals will be sapped and your goals will be negatively impacted.
Perhaps you've already noticed that managing life, in general, has become difficult. Or that the people you care about are at arm's length. Perhaps all you do is worry and try to control whatever is around the next corner.
These are signs of an imbalanced emotional response to trauma. It's time for a change. You deserve more.
Management and Treatment of Avoidance and PTSD
The way forward is not a solo journey. A guided tour by a professional will get you where you want to go much more productively. To help you start managing your symptoms with healthier coping strategies, read more about trauma therapy and contact us soon. Therapy can provide the tools you need for more effective emotional expression, physical relief, and self-compassion. We're here to help. Please contact us for a free consultation to learn how we can help.
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