As discussed in part one of this topic, when you think of childbirth, it usually evokes emotion on the positive side of the spectrum. At worst, maybe it is fear of the unknown if you’re a first-time parent. But what it generally does not lead to, at face value, is negative feelings or trauma triggers. Unfortunately, up to 45% of mothers report having experienced birth trauma.
Social norms and various stigmas make it more likely that birth trauma just isn’t as openly discussed. It’s much easier to put on the happy front and act like childbirth was the most beautiful and joyous thing. The most important things to know are: you are not alone and you can heal from this. Keep reading for tips on how to change your narrative.
Give Yourself Time…And Grace
It is human nature to be harder on yourself than you need to be or should be. This would be one of them. Be extra kind to yourself after your traumatic experience and give yourself grace in the healing process.
There is no timeline for healing, so maybe talking about this will take time. You aren’t going to feel better or healed overnight. No two journeys are the same. Regardless of the time frame, make sure you circle back to address it.
Share Your Story
With birth trauma, there is a tendency to turn feelings inward and push them down. Feel your feelings and use that to share your story when the time is right for you. Use this as a healing exercise. You will, of course, recount things that went wrong or were lost but also focus on things that went right. Recall a positive emotion you felt at a specific moment. Hold on to those little things.
Sharing your story has not only been proven to be helpful in your recovery, but it can also be helpful to someone else around you who may have experienced a similar situation. Be a voice of guidance for someone else who may need to hear it.
Seek Out Social Support
Having a support system may be more important now than ever. Lean on your people, whether that be your partner, family, or close friends. Your partner may also be experiencing their own version of birth trauma in this instance. Use each other.
You may also find some much-needed care from support groups or other mothers who have experienced a similar situation. Having a strong support system for emotional and whatever other support you need can reduce the risk of developing PTSD.
Be Prepared On Anniversaries
Know that the anniversary of the birth date may be a difficult time. Especially in the first years and especially if it was your first child. Have a plan for a little extra love that day from your support system.
Schedule yourself a day that will allow for you to be healthily distracted or positively “celebrate” the day as part of your healing process.
Plan For Your Next Pregnancy
Many parents plan on having multiple pregnancies. If this includes you, create a plan for your next pregnancy. Start by reviewing this current experience. Review your medical record and consult with your team if needed.
Explore options for the next go around, maybe involving an adapted plan. Consider a doula service or a birthing coach for extra support.
Seek Professional Help
Sometimes your experience and trauma go beyond what you or your support system can solve. There are many options out there for professional services to assist you with processing what you may be feeling. One of those may be EMDR therapy.
Different approaches and different techniques can be explored to facilitate the healing process. Symptoms will likely not resolve on their own, but with active work, you can start to move past the negative.
If you are suffering from symptoms of birth trauma, schedule a free consultation with us today.
Learn more about our PTSD, Trauma and EMDR therapy therapy. Serving Boulder, Longmont, Denver.
