From a Broken Heart to Coming Out of the Dark. You can recover from heartbreak depression. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you don’t need anyone to tell you how terrible it can feel. Losing the promise and compatibility of someone you loved can be extremely hard to accept. Particularly if you imagined sharing your life with them indefinitely.
The reasons for breakups are endless. The pain can seem endless, too. Heartbreak can take you to a lonely, lost place — a place that can lead to depression. Yet, no matter how many ways your heart has been broken, you can still transform your pain and come out of the dark.
The Reality of Heartbreak Depression
When people describe a break-up as causing physical pain, they are not exaggerating. When heartbroken people are given MRIs, it shows that the experience activates the same parts of the brain as when they go through physical pain or trauma. Unlike most physical ailments, however, heartbreak can linger for weeks or even months. Part of this is because, to your brain, heartbreak also behaves a lot like withdrawal.
So, Heartbreak depression is real. It’s called “situational depression”, as opposed to clinical depression, though it often shares the same symptoms. These may include:
Long and frequent crying spells
Sleep disturbances
Loss of appetite
Feeling fatigued and unfocused
Anxiety
Substance abuse
Thoughts of doom, dread, death, and suicide
Obviously, this situation requires your full attention (and perhaps some outside help). There are steps you can take on your own to begin the recovery process. Proceed with patience and never forget to keep practicing daily self-care.
1. Resist the Urge to Hide Your Pain
If this feels beyond your capability, that’s normal. It’s just a sign that you need outside help.
2. Accept the Situation For What It Is
False hope is not your friend. Acceptance is, however. Patient progress, not avoidance, is the answer. This means not hiding from others or from yourself. The only way out of the loss and gloom is through. As daunting as that may seem, facing the realities connected to your lost relationship is the path to healing.
Regardless of where and how you (or anyone) places blame, your relationship is over. Your new top priority is feeling what you need to feel but doing so in a way that gives you room to rise again. Accept that it is time to reconstruct your sense of self outside of that connection.
3. Don’t Revise the Past; Let Reality Stand
It’s easy to idealize your relationship and/or your ex. rather than let them go. Yet, what your brain needs most right now is the truth and honest examination of your time together. Like all relationships, your connection had its ups and downs. Romanticizing things in a time of heartbreak only adds to confusion, guilt, and self-blame.You don't want to start a cycle of unproductive regret or withdrawal from relationships. The truth is you’re sad, hurt, and angry for good reason. Try not to add to those emotions with a revisionist history that will only have to be addressed truthfully later anyway.
4. Carefully Channel Your Energy
Your life has changed. What will you do now? Part of depression can arise from hopelessness. Goals and future-planning are the building blocks of hope. Of course, you are probably worn out right now. Your body is likely tense and fatigued. Headaches and digestive trouble often accompany heartbreak.
If concrete plans seem too exhausting right now, you don’t have to make long-term plans. Instead, re-focus your energy with self-loving choices. Start exercising the way you’ve always wanted to. Try gentle massage and stretching. Make time for more sleep and deep breathing.
You are on your own, so make self-care more a priority and positive self-talk more intentional. Re-connect with friends who will champion your new direction. In time, you'll find that if you aim your focus, your energy will follow.
Heartbreak Depression Help: Picking Up the Pieces
Depression is not something you can think you’re way out of. There is no inspirational quote or social media post that can snap you out of your pain. But you don't have to remain stuck. Relationship loss deserves to be acknowledged, grieved, and processed fully. Thus, it is absolutely essential that you ask for professional help.
Having an unbiased guide to meet with on a regular basis can be the catalyst for recovery and a more optimistic way forward. Together, you can and will transform your pain and depression productively. Jointly, you can discover a path back to wholeness and peace of mind.
Don’t let heartbreak depression cause you to delay getting the help you need. It’s just a click away.
If you are looking for a therapist and think we might be a good fit, please contact me for a free consultation. I am here to help and am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
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