Your family may pass down eye color, height, or other genetic predispositions. They might literally pass down certain belongings and mementos. But, according to a growing field of study, you can also inherit something rather unexpected: trauma.
The concept of generational trauma is built upon the reality that trauma sets into motion certain genetic processes. If, for example, your grandparent endured trauma, it's quite possible that you will feel the impact. You may feel symptoms. You may inherit coping mechanisms. The possibilities appear to be endless. Therefore, the impacts are equally endless. How can we manage such a covert legacy?
What Generational Trauma Looks Like in Action
Even when trauma is clear and evident, unhealthy coping mechanisms become the norm. When the trauma is generational, this tendency is heightened. It typically manifests in two ways:
Downplaying and minimizing the impact
Outright denial
As a result, some familiar trends and signs can be discerned. These include:
Concerns About Stigma
Older generations are less likely to seek help. They may not even own up to feeling any symptoms. This can create even more turmoil. Older and younger members of the family are in conflict. No one breaks the cycle and leads by example. Therefore, it becomes normalized for the family to never seek out counseling
Repressed Emotions
Once again, the elders typically lead the way here. “Don’t air out our dirty laundry,” they declare. Emotions are kept in check precisely when they need to be explored. If those who need help refuse to get it, the generational trauma lives on to be passed down again.
Ongoing Abuse
The above two signs describe an environment where keeping secrets is the norm. Unfortunately, this makes it easier for others to be abusive without fear of anyone talking about it.
As you can see, there’s a common theme here. For a variety of reasons, no one wants to be the one who rebels against unhealthy patterns. This can be scary and incredibly emotional. But, to break out of the patterns created by generational trauma, the problems must be dragged out into the light.
Overcoming Generational Trauma
Mental health experts agree. The most important step is to identify and expose any trauma or abuse being acted out upon children. Nearly half of all children in America have endured at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE). This is a nightmare for them to endure and it has a long-term impact. For example, ACE survivors have been shown to struggle academically at a far higher rate. There are so many reasons to address this “inheritance.” Such work will require the assistance of a therapist but there are steps you can take on your own, too.
Accept the Need For Change
This is your foundational step. You must fully accept reality. You may love your family and enjoy being with them. But this is a powerful and dysfunctional situation to be recognized and addressed.
Reject the “Keep Your Chin Up” Mentality
If “just get over it” worked, your family wouldn’t be stuck in this cycle. Denial isn’t strength. The real courage lies in standing up to and ending the scourge of generational trauma.
Create a New “Inheritance”
How amazing would it be if your family could instead pass down resiliency, honesty, and openness? It is just as possible as passing down trauma. All it takes is for that first family member to reach out and ask for help.
Let’s Talk
Accepting and addressing something that your family is hiding is a daunting task. Reach out to set up a free and confidential consultation. I’d love to guide you on this essential journey of healing.
If you would like some extra support and are looking for a psychotherapist, please contact us for a free consultation to learn about how we can be of service.
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