Trauma Treatment Recovery: Why It’s Ok to Fall Apart

By April Lyons MA, LPC

Trauma Treatment Recovery is possible.

Do you sometimes think: I don’t want to fall apart! I'm afraid of breaking down...What happens if I can't put the pieces back together? When trauma hits, fear of “falling apart” is fairly common.

Trauma treatment recovery can be so tough because we fear being so broken by our painful experience that we can’t move on. Yet, this fear actually gets in our way. Anxiety about falling apart can become a preoccupation. It can impede our recovery as we rush to be “okay” attempting to skip crucial steps to wholeness and wellbeing.

Insisting that we are “fine”, judging ourselves for being so damaged, and burying our shattered hearts and minds is not what we deserve. Comfort, acceptance, and support are the cushion and launchpad you need as you give yourself permission to fall apart and find your way through the hurt. You don’t need to hide or apologize. Still hard to believe? Let's explore why falling apart is really what you need to stand stronger than ever.

Why It's Okay to Fall Apart

Falling Apart Fosters Productive Acceptance 

When you fall apart, your stiff upper lip is allowed to relax and you can loosen your grip on your anxious attempt to control what you really can’t control. Acceptance allows you to cry about what hurts. You can swear at the injustice of your pain. Your pain can be poured out productively, shared and finally put in its place.

Falling apart is honest. It does not mean you're weak, but is a testament to your courage and willingness to get real and heal. 

Falling Apart is Not Forever

Trauma can seem like a life sentence. It’s easy to feel tortured by the past and uneasy about the future. Falling apart has a way of clarifying the present. When we can no longer carry the burdens of the past or deal with triggers, memories, and pain, falling apart gives us permission to drop it all and spare our selves the stress and tension of bottling it all up and creating an unhealthy disconnect between our bodies and mind.

When you fall apart you not only accept that trauma occurred but you can look at the impact and face its fallout right now. Falling apart, then, is the courage to stay with the pain and put it in context. You see it, feel it, and let it affect you. But then you let it pass. However ugly and upsetting those moments of devastation are, staying present means that a new moment follows. Just as you observed the pain of the previous moment, you may find hope in the next. And then, actual joy may exist in the next.

Falling Apart May Be a Reminder to Trust the Process

Sometimes we have to break down to experience a better, stronger rebuild. Perhaps recovery and growth will be the story of your traumatic past. Why not embrace that potential outcome? Why not let yourself process your pain and then, when you’re ready, use it to change your life and relationships for good. Trust that the thing inside you that helped you survive the past can help you remake your future. Falling apart can help you grow mentally and emotionally, develop new emotional reserves, and learn new ways to stand strong.

Falling Apart Reminds Us That Too Often We Do Life Alone

Like it or not some of us need to fall apart to remember that we need our connections. Healthy relationships matter. Belonging and sharing are crucial. Touch and closeness make us feel safe and calm. Letting ourselves fall apart reminds us to look for the support and care we need. Reaching out to loved ones, friends, or a therapist when you fall apart can be comforting and healing. It can also stop an unhealthy slide toward isolation and withdrawal. 

Trauma Treatment Recovery: You Don't Have to Do This Alone.

You've suffered the pain of trauma. Perhaps now you're suffering the fear of falling apart. I can help you find relief from them both. You don't have to do this alone. If you are looking for a psychotherapist, please contact us for a free 30-minute consultation to learn about how we can be of service.

To find out more about my services click here: PTSD Treatment. Serving Boulder, Longmont, Denver...