Positive Psychotherapy: From Self Improvement to Self-Actualization   

By April Lyons MA, LPC

Positive Psychotherapy can help you move from Self Improvement to Self-Actualization.

From our New Year’s resolutions on throughout the year, we promise ourselves to do better, be better, and achieve more. And it’s no wonder. Self- improvement is an ever-growing subject of conversation and positive psychotherapy, a by-product of social media, and a focus million-dollar industry.

But are we really benefiting from an endless march toward improvement? Are we even really sure that improvement is a worthy goal? Moreover, does a commitment to outcomes like being fitter, more career-focused, or more organized really speak to our core needs and authentic happiness? Let’s see if self-improvement provides the most benefit or whether self-actualization might be the concept that does the most lasting good.

From Self-Improvement (Overcome, Fix, and Develop)...

Most of us spend a lot of time wanting to be “better”. We all love a good makeover.In an age of social comparison driven by the internet and media, it may feel as though we’re supposed to constantly seek ways to fix one area of our lives or another. Yet, for as long as there have been people, we’ve wanted to elevate our life experiences.

For example, we tend to focus on personal goals like health, productivity, career, or organizational aims that would make us feel better about ourselves and how we live. So, we put together strategies to overcome unproductive habits, fix problems, and/or develop certain qualities. Thus, over time, we embark on various practices of mindful awareness, goal setting, motivational exercises, and retraining our minds that create the changes we want. The primary ideas behind self-improvement?

  • You can take responsibility for the way you want to live.

  • You improve your life by defining your goals and working toward your desired ends.

Is “improvement” really your goal?

There is nothing wrong with self-improvement. Personal change is a good thing. But, after a while, you may discover that improving yourself may not satisfy you. In fact, improving yourself may simply be an exercise in trying to be “good enough” in this area or that.It’s important to ask yourself whether a series of makeovers is really what you want? Or would you rather invest time in growing and satisfying all aspects of who you are, regardless of how you compare to others?

...to Self-actualization (Acceptance, Adaptation, and Growth)

Making the leap from self-improvement to self-actualization is a journey that incorporates your whole self. You learn to grow through acceptance of what you like and don’t like about yourself.  Perfecting the good and overcoming the “bad” are not the goals here. Self-actualization is less about the achievement of an improved ideal or specific goal and more about growing into the fullness of who you are. For better or for worse, you become open to your authentic self and work toward living a fully healthy life on all levels.

Your potential is optimized and your limits are recognized with a sense of peace and purpose. That being said self-actualization isn’t a goal you reach like a self-improvement goal. Instead, you live your life progressing in out of a “hierarchy of human needs,” meeting them on basic and more complex levels.Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs suggests, self-actualization is the highest level of need, but your journey of meeting physiological, safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem needs generally precede self-actualization and interrupt it. When your more basic needs are covered you may be more open to self-actualization.

What does self-actualization look like?

Self-actualized people operate differently in the world. Rather than simply self-improve, they adapt and grow in their circumstances optimally with an eye on complete fulfillment. The following traits are usually at work:

  • acceptance of facts, themselves, and others

  • general lack of prejudice and keen ability to perceive reality well

  • deep sense of purpose and an ability to solve problems

  • profound sense of morality and meaning

  • wealth of creativity and wonder

  • lives life with spontaneity, humor, and resilience

  • maintains meaningful relationships

  • exhibits compassion and empathy

  • is autonomous and secure

How Can You Become More Self-actualized?

Self-actualization, though fulfilling, does entail being self-aware and retaining a deep sense of your own purpose. It means that you are getting your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs met. This isn’t easy and doesn’t necessarily fall in line with a “five easy steps” or “follow these tips” method found in many self-improvement books. However, there are several things you can do to help you along the way:

Practice mindfulness.

Do your best to remain present and attentive to your current experiences. Also, tune in to your environment, thought patterns, and feelings. You can live more spontaneously and autonomously, less prone to the anxiety that stems from ruminating on the past or future.

Embrace altruism.

To be sure, knowing yourself for the sake of personal growth is a major component of self-actualization. However, growth comes by focusing outward too. Directing effort, generosity, empathy, and compassion toward other people fosters more meaning, connection, and gratitude in you.

Be introspective.

Devote time to self-knowledge. Also, ask questions and seek answers about why you are the way you are. What contributes to your thoughts and emotions? What roots and relationships motivate you and foster more self-acceptance?

Stay authentic.

Check in with yourself. Tune in to your needs, talents, and eccentricities. Be you as much as possible and acknowledge when you aren’t being you so that you can examine why. Consider your whole life as valuable and embraceable. Most of all, live your passions and consider any roadblocks or failures part of your story without feeling compelled to hide them.

Finally, Consider Positive Psychotherapy

To move from self-improvement to self-actualization requires support. Positive Psychotherapy can help with all of the aforementioned strategies and more. We can help you explore and understand yourself well. Let us support you in practicing a life filled with growth and fulfillment.

If you would like support and are looking for a psychotherapist, please contact us for a free consultation to learn about how we can be of service.

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